found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
