I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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