you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
