You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
