Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
