I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize