i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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