i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
