I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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