Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
