hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
