i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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