Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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