Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
