He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I have aggressive nipples.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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