I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
