My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
