Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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