Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
