when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
