I am spending my child support on dildos
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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