his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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