I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
