you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
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