P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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