Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
