So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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