just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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