i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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