Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
