I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
