i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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