He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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