Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
