I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
