i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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