Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
