are you so shy because you have an std?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
