It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
