Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
