Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
