Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize