i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
