just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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