We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
