mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
