Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
well you can't waste a boner
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
