five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
