then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
