Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
