Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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