Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
