Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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