we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
