He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
