Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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