If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
