There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
