VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
