i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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